Do you ever have periods in your life when you seem to be experiencing a lot of bad dreams? It can really make you feel awful when you wake from one! But interestingly, there could be a way to influence what you're dreaming of. I spoke with Dr. Angel Morgan, a sleep and dream expert for DreamsCloud about the method of self-reflection in examining your dreams to get to know yourself better.
All dreams are healthy, says Dr. Morgan, because they reveal our emotions and show us issues that need to be dealt with in our lives. She doesn't suggest avoiding bad dreams altogether, but facing them head on by writing them down and thinking about them. However, if you're having an unpleasant dream that you want to stop, there is a 3-step plan she recommends for dealing with the situation. The example we'll work with? A Smitten appropriate situation: Having a bad dream about your ex.
Using the self-reflection model practiced at Dreamcloud, Dr. Morgan points out that the you carry an image of your ex as a part of yourself unconsciously, and then that part of you shows up in the dream, but with the face of your ex. The question then, is how can you integrate this part of you represented by your ex in the dream, in a healthy way?
Step 1: Make a list of all the positive qualities of your ex that attracted you to him in the first place. This might be hard if there was bitterness, or it was toxic, but try to remember what the positive qualities were.
Step 2: Write a letter to your ex expressing everything you can think of that's unresolved. Everything you're still mad about, hurt about, etc. This is an exercise; you will NOT deliver the letter. But not, you're in touch with both the positive and the negative emotions that might be affecting your dreams.
Step 3: Right before you go to sleep, have a fantasy daydream. According to Dr. Morgan, this is the hypnogogic stage of dreaming, when you're just falling asleep and you'll see images. It's a perfect time to practice having a conversation where you confront the ex, remembering that you are number one in your dream and you are completely in charge, and you get to tell your ex everything that's in that letter. Nothing is holding you back there.
The goal of the three steps is to get to a stage of lucid dreaming, wherein you're aware that you're dreaming while you're dreaming. Once you're in that stage, you can transform the negative energy into positive energy, cleaning house in your dream world.
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